I'm gonna have a badass scar
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
