I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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