Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't deserve a penis
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
