Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
