I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
