As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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