is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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