butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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