I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
