Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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