I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
