be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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