Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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