Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
