So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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