Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
