We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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