Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
