Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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