Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
