I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
