do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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