Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We left the knife in your bed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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