You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's like iHOP with fire
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
