i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
