You can't special order awesome
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
