i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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