My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
