My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
