Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
