soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
