I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
