One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
