Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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