that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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