I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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