so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
