Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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