is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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