so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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