hell yes lets make some ravioli
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
