cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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