my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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