i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
