Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
