Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
