I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
