so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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