you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
