she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
