sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
