i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize