I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
