i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
God, I missed his penis.
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