I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
