they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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