Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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