I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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