just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
