Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
