Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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