So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am naked and annoyed.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
