whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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