i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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