So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
