I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's blow job season.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
where are my eyebrows?
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