He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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